The Hobbit, but the Multiverse Does the Macarena (Workshop Cut): Prologue
Eeyyyyyy Macarena, alright!
Here we are. Hobbit fanfiction number two. >:) be prepared for the silliest thing u have ever read. and, of course, a reminder that you can support my goal to elope with my fanart-drawing lover to Portugal to fix up a ruined house, and also support me writing with sweet little treats on hand, by clicking this cute little button:
also, now that I’ve gotten into Merlin (shoot me now, but 2010s queerbait hits different), i’ve updated the poll about what should come after this, and you can find that here:
Consider this: there are a million million million million million million— no nevermind, there are infinite universes. They are all at a party, vibing, chilling, forming a conga line, doing the macarena, drinking from each other’s cups, making out, sharing a slice of pizza, eating sour gummy worms and having either a great time or a grisly one.
But, EEYYYYYY MACARENA!— and a few directionally-challenged universes turn clockwise instead of counterclockwise and several of them bump into each other. Whoops. Well, no harm no foul, no drinks spilled, no sour gummy worms wasted, no pizza smeared into lipstick, nothing exchanged except dust.
Now consider this: people are just stardust, the filtered specks of the cosmos distilled into a particular molecular structure that adheres to no rules but those that we make ourselves. People are the amalgamation of things that were and are and will be and always have been and never will be again. They’re hardly lighthouses of constancy but they have the same face their whole life, evolving in a yawning blink before they can pump their expressions with enough plastic to stop it.
But, EEYYYYYY MACARENA!— and those dust people are tossed like a bottle at a boat and and now they’re clinging, not to the soft denim pants of their home universe, but to the pleated pleather skirt of a new one. Whoops.
And that is why Thorin Oakenshield and Tauriel, along with some other, much newer names, wake up and say to themselves, in a tone and manner befitting each of their own loveable characters, “What the fuck.”
Because where a Hobbit once slept, a man with a shoulder injury wakes. Where a wizard had lay, a different kind of power-user sits up gruffly. Where an elf kept watch, a pirate looks around with wide eyes. Where a dragon hibernated, a magician struggles to unearth himself from the golden piles.
A few specks of dust is nothing to the universes continuing their macarena.
i know, the prologue is short as shit!! being so fair, prologues much longer than this have a hard time sustaining themselves, so i think it’s alright. and i’ll see you in a few days for chapter 1!! :D
as always, Scream at me in the comments! nothing brings me more joy!